Pen’sieve

Well, it happened. I had another birthday this week. Not going to divulge how old I am now, but suffice it to say I’m a year older today than I was at this time last week. Talking to my sister a few weeks ago, the subject of meekness came up. She’s a pretty meek person. Or at least if she’s not meek, she doesn’t like confrontation. Our Mom is the same way. She just gets sick if she ever has to confront anyone in a negative way. I missed that lesson in childhood. Or, more likely, I’ve learned to overcome the fear of confrontation. I just wish I had done this in school instead of being terrorized by a stupid bully from almost kindergarten till my senior year. I can assure you the moron doesn’t intimidate me now, and very little does. I have no problem whatsoever standing up for myself and anyone else around me that can’t do it for themselves. I am no longer the desperately shy overweight girl with no self esteem that I was in high school and I really hope that I can raise my children to be outgoing and confident as well. On the other side of the coin, though, I have learned that if I cross the line and am rude to someone, the stupid cashier at WalMart more interested in talking to the other stupid cashier than helping me, I almost always wind up sitting next to that person in Bible study. Or if I honk at the slow man who’s sitting at the green light I wind up following him to church. So it’s a delicate balance, being strong and assertive without being obnoxious and rude. But take it from me, both assertive and rude are far more productive than timid and shy. And definitely more fun.

So that’s just one of the things I’m learning about myself in my old age. Another thing that I’ve learned is that I am running low on patience with people who make it a point to be dumb. I’m not talking about uneducated, although that can sometimes be a part of it, I’m talking about uninformed. Today’s ignorance victim is the girl at the gym. I walked in and asked if they had any class schedules printed out. They usually have a stack of them at the front desk and there were none today. She said no, they didn’t have any because they didn’t want to confuse people when the new class schedule started. Ok, well, I guess I can see that logic. It’s the middle of August and I think the fall schedule starts the first of September. Then she said they were adding a few new classes and she named one that sounded interesting to me, Pi-oga. Pilates and Yoga mixed. So I asked when that was going to start, she thought I asked what it was. I’m pretty familiar with both pilates and yoga, they’re my favorite things. (ok they’re my favorite gym classes because there’s no bouncing and jumping but they’re usually intense enough to work up a good sweat.) When I corrected her, and I wasn’t at all rude, I just said “Oh, no, I said WHEN is the class”, she started sort of mumbling “I think they’re Tuesday and Thursday, or maybe Monday, Wednesday, Friday, well I really don’t know you’ll have to ask the manager.” Then why not just say that in the first place? There’s nothing wrong with not knowing the answer, the new schedule isn’t out yet, that class is on the new schedule, I don’t know when it is. That’s a perfectly acceptable answer. So I thought I made mental note to remember that she’s got the IQ of dirt and I shouldn’t confuse her any more today by asking any other questions so I went on with my workout. After, I was in the locker room to take a shower and all the bath mats were gone.  I thought that since it was almost closing time they had already taken the up to wash them or moved them to clean the showers. Well, I guess it was my own fault because yep, silly me, I asked her: “What happened to the bath mats?” Her answer, and I quote, was: “Yeah, thanks.” I just looked at her, and because I still hadn’t learned my own lesson for the day, I said “No, I asked what happened to the bath mats, are they in the laundry or did ya’ll get rid of them?” Obviously I wasn’t speaking proper English because she just looked at me like I had landed from Mars and was about to take her first born or something. Thankfully, there was another woman in there and she spoke up and said the bath mats hadn’t been there in about 3 days and she thought they were in the process of replacing them. Ok, lesson learned. I did make a note of her name and I will from now on make sure NOT to ask the poor simple creature any more complicated Earth shattering questions ever again. Can you imagine what would happen if I had asked for her to get more toilet tissue for the bathroom? I shudder to think.

Let’s see, what else. Oh yeah, the hot dream. This morning, about 10, after having S in our bed, or at least in our room, since about 8, J rolls over and says “I had a really hot dream last night.” Now, here’s the situation in my mind. I have pink eye, again, and I got it directly from J this time. He didn’t finish all his eye drops last time and he got it again then he gave it to me. So I’ve been in glasses for the last 2 days. I hate glasses. I can’t see crap in them. I’m also tired because S doesn’t go to Daddy’s side of the bed, no, she comes to mine at 7:45 in the freaking morning and wants to watch TV. I showed her the clock and told her that there’s not anything at all on TV until the clock says 830. See? The TV won’t even turn on. She just sort of melts into tears. I swear to you she is my sister’s child. So I spend the next 45 minutes trying to get her to lay still and go back to sleep. This is 7:45 in the morning after I spent much of the night up with her because she was crying that her feet hurt. And yet I’m doing all I can not to wake J up. Then at 8:30 she says “Mama, it’s 8 3 0 and the TV will work now.” Yippy. So I get to listen to the most unGodly, hideous thing in the world. The DoodleBops. Ever seen them? Do it, cause I’m sure the only thing worse is actual nerve gas. And, oh happy day, it’s an interactive show. “Come on kids, jump with us!” But I’m still trying to make sure she doesn’t wake up daddy, stupid me. Then she gets off the bed, but she’s not playing in the closet, or even in the bathroom. No, she’s between the head of the bed and the wall. I will readily admit that’s the filthiest place in the house. It never gets vacuumed. It never gets dusted. We’ve lived in this house for 6 years. The layer of dust there is about as thick as she is tall. That’s where she was playing. Sneezing, yes, but playing. So I get her out. And the rest of the morning is like that, she finds the worst things possible to play with. The diaper pail. The very full water bottle I took up last night so I could have a drink by the bed. I guess I should stop complaining and count my blessings she wasn’t playing with my glasses. Then she finally went into Little J’s room to wake him up. So this is what I’ve been through this morning when J rolls over and says “I had a hot dream last night.” My first reaction was to poor the cold water bottle on his head. But, wonderful wife that I am, I didn’t. He continued. “I dreamed you were gone for the weekend and I found two beautiful hookers. And they said that for $100 they would both come home with me and do whatever I wanted all night long.” I really was trying no to kick him right square in the nuts but it took all the power I had, and I bit a hole in my tongue, too. He continued. “So I gave them a hundred bucks, brought them home….and made them clean house. I had them cleaning windows and everything. I was the hottest thing I’ve seen in months.” I have such a wonderful husband. I assured him that if he ever actually finds himself in that situation he is more than welcome to bring two hookers home to clean our windows.

Well, it’s about time for me to go home. I’ve been out all day long. It’s been great. I returned a bag, bought a new one, went to the gym, took a good shower, got the oil changed in J’s car, spent a while at the coffee shop, and I’m about to go get some lunch. Or dinner. Or whatever you have at 4:30 in the afternoon. More later…..

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So here I am again, finally, back at the coffee shop. Their internet is down but I can type in a different program and post it later. Good thing, too, cause I left my book in the car and I don’t want to go back out to get it.  Life at our house has been a little hectic this week, we’ve all been sick. J and I have bad colds again, Little J had a bit of an ear infection and a cold, S has had a cough, and we have all had pink eye. It’s just been a barrel of laughs at home. But I think everyone’s getting a little better, the kids and I have finished our eye drops and J only has one or two more days. The only thing I can think that made us sick is leaving Little J in the nursery at church Wednesday night. So I’m pretty much through with the nursery there. I’ve probably said that before, but I’ve spent more than a hundred dollars this week in copays and prescriptions so now it’s a rule. The nursery at church is off limits. When he’s 2 he can move up to a different room so until then we’ll just take him in with us and see what happens.

Oh, I never did my post bragging about my boy, did I? Well let me do that now. J He’s so funny. He’s about 16 and a half months now and weighs about 21 pounds. He’s only a head shorter than S and he acts like he’s just as big as her. He’ll climb on anything and he’s so determined when he sees something he wants that it’s almost impossible to distract him. And he loves women, especially blonde pretty women. He’ll lean over or even call out “HI” to get her attention then just smile and smile. With all women he’ll smile, but the pretty blonde ones he’ll call out “HI” and even wave. The little flirt. His favorite two games are “Peek a boo” and “Oh Nooooo”.  “Oh Noooo” happens when you’re holding him and he leans backwards and you laugh and say “oh noooooo” as you sort of bend him and let his head touch the floor. It’s a daddy game.  His favorite food is anything I happen to be eating at the moment. His favorite drink is Daddy’s drink and his favorite toy is whatever S is playing with. He sleeps with his blanket, and now that I mention it, I need to buy another identical blanket because I’ve noticed this one getting a little frayed around the edges. He’s so funny with his blanket, too. He always brings it downstairs with him when we get him out of bed and then when he gets tired I’ll say “Go get your blanket” and he’ll get it and walk to the stairs to go to bed. He’s so sweet.

Let’s see, what else. Oh, he talks all the time. Some of it I can even understand now. J Things that are clear are down, ball, mama, daddy, tweet tweet, all sorts of growling, barking, and quacking, and other words that I can’t remember right now. He can sing, too, and he loves the “Little Bunny Foo Foo” song where he can bop the field mice on the head. Grandamama taught him that one and it’s been a big hit. Hahaha, hit. Speaking of hitting, I’m having to teach both of them not to hit. I’ve just about gotten S broken from it, now she just pushes. But I’m afraid Little J is just getting started. And he pushes back, too. And boy, if you make him mad he’ll let you know in a hurry. He’s got a screech that goes right to the part of your brain that makes you want to hurt yourself or somebody. I’m trying very hard to get rid of that one, too.

All in all, though, he’s a pretty loving boy, loves to give big wet kisses. I’m afraid he might not grow out of that one, though. Look out, girls. He’s all boy, too, he loves noisy things. S was and still is a little hesitant to make a lot of noise, like banging the pot lids together like cymbals. J has no qualms whatsoever. As a matter of fact, the other day I put one lid in one toy box and the other one in another toy box hoping it might take him a little longer to find them and I might have a little peace while I cooked dinner. Alas, I wasn’t to be. He found one lid and when he couldn’t find the other one he stood next to the cabinet banging it against the door. So I handed him the other one, at least with two he can walk in the other room. And when he gets near S she’ll take them away from him anyway. J

Well I guess I better wrap this up and get back home. I’m going to try to talk J into going out for dinner for my birthday. I have to call and see what his parents are up to today. I’ll post more later….

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